How are the messengers supposed to deliver the telegrams after passing?

The messenger, after his passing, is obligated to seek out the addressees of the telegrams they have been entrusted with. How, exactly, this will be done is unclear. The truth is that no one knows what happens after someone passes away. Here is a list of "tips", based on pure speculation, that we give to messengers that we hope will help them to deliver their messages after passing into the afterlife:
- As soon as possible, get a pen and paper and write down all of your telegrams while they are still fresh in your mind. There may not be "pens" and "paper" in the afterlife, but there might be something equivalent with which you can record information.
- Make contact with the first intelligent person you find and request advice as how best to complete your task. By "person" we mean not only people such as you, who once lived on earth as humans, but anyone else who might be helpful. There might be other entities, such as angels, spirits, demigods or fairies, that are indigenous to the afterlife and who might be willing to help you. Animals, such as dogs, dolphins, apes, etc... might be inclined to help as well.
- It is possible that a "helper" of some kind might be assigned to assist you as you adjust to existing in a new world. (Like in the movie " Defending Your Life ") Such a person would be ideal in helping you with your deliveries. If you are not able to deliver the telegrams in person in the near future, see if it is not possible for your helper to deliver them for you. If you do this, please follow up later to make sure the addressees received the correct telegrams.
- It is possible that the trauma of passing will cause you to have some memory loss. Should this happen, try to deliver as much of each telegram as possible.
- On earth people are separated by political, economic and ideological boundaries. For example it is safe to deliver a telegram to someone living in Canada but very dangerous to deliver a telegram to someone living in Iraq. It is possible that there are similar boundaries in the afterlife. (As in the movie " What Dreams May Come ".) While you are obligated to do what you can to deliver your telegrams, please use your best judgement as to the amount of risk you should take, without help, when traveling in the afterlife.
- More than likely there will be social, economic and informational infrastructures available to you and we encourage you to use these when possible. Keep in mind there might be rules in the afterlife regulating how and who you may contact. Do your best with what you have.
- There are a great many unknowns. Therefore the best advice we can give you is to be focused, resourceful, creative and (if necessary) aggressive. Good luck.

What steps, if any, have you taken to avoid taking advantage of people in grief?

Our service is not intended for people who are still in the grieving stage . Therefore we will not knowingly provide service to someone who wants to send a message to someone who has died less than 30 days ago. We also do not provide service to people under the age of 18 nor anyone we suspect to be mentally incompetent.
Before we will give a telegram to a messenger to memorize - we will have talked to the sender by phone. If, at that time, we are given reason to believe that the sender is under age, incompetent or still grieving the loss of the person they are sending the telegram to - we will refund payment. After the telegram has been given to the messenger and payment has been accepted, it is no longer refundable unless the messenger should have the good fortune to survive one year passed the day the messenger received the telegram. In that case the fee is refunded and the telegram will be delivered for free.

If you want to learn more about our aterlife telegram service - please click on these frequently asked questions:

How does this service work? What are the steps involved?

1) The sender (the person sending the telegram) clicks on the "start" button that is on the main page: http://afterlifetelegrams.com
 2) The sender is then shown a brief summary about service, restrictions and fees which MUST be read in order to continue.
3) Next the sender is asked a few questions to make sure she/he qualifies to use our service.
4) The sender then is taken to a form that she/he fills out. The form requires (among other things) a full name, phone number and the message to be sent. The form is then emailed to us.
6) Next the sender is taken to PayPal.com to pay for the message. This requires either a credit card, a checking account or a banking account.
7) Within 24 hours of receiving payment, we will contact the sender to confirm the telegram and to answer questions.
8) Next we will give a copy of the telegram to one of our terminally ill messengers to memorize. After given sufficient time for memorization, the messenger is tested to determine if she/he has indeed memorized the telegram. After passing this test, we will periodically quiz the messenger to be sure that she/he has not forgotten.
9) If, as expected, the messenger passes away within a year - the sender is then informed by phone that the telegram is "on its' way". (should the messenger have the good fortune to still be alive after one year - the sender's money is refunded and the messenger will then deliver the telegram, when the time comes, for free.)
10) After passing away, the messenger is obligated to do everything possible to seek out the addressee in the afterlife and deliver the telegram. Unfortunately there is no known way for the addressee to reply to the sender's telegram nor can we prove that it was even successfully delivered. Please keep this in mind when deciding whether or not to use our service.

How can you guarantee that the telegram will get through after the messenger has passed on?

We Can't...The truth is no one knows what happens when someone dies. All that we can guarantee is this:
1) The messengers have memorized their telegrams before passing on.
2) The messengers have promised to do what can be done to deliver their telegrams to the addressees after passing.
Here is a list of reasons why, despite our best efforts, your telegram might not get through:
- Reincarnation could cause a problem. By the time the telegram can reach the addressee, he could already be back on earth.
- The afterlife could be so chaotic and confusing that it might be impossible to find a specific person.
- We can not rule out the possibility that there could be no afterlife at all.
- Maybe there are no "directories", or any other way to find people in the afterlife.
- The addressee might have changed his name.
- If the afterlife is segregated into heaven, hell and purgatory - it is possible that the messenger will not be sent to the same place as the addressee.
- It's possible that people do not retain memories of their past lives.
- Maybe the addressee does not wish to be disturbed and has the means to keep the messenger from speaking to him.
- It also might be against the "rules" in the afterlife to seek out people you don't know.
- Maybe people who die in Illinois are sent to a different section of the afterlife than people who die in Alaska. (As is the case in the interactive game called " Grim Fandango ".)
- It could be that the addressee is a ghost on earth or has moved to a different plane of existence and can't be reached.
- The addressee may have evolved into a higher state of being and can no longer communicate with the messenger.
Here is a list of reasons why sending a telegram may be entirely unnecessary:
- Perhaps the addressee already knows the information in the telegram because he has been watching over you.
- Maybe the addressee receives messages every time you think of him or pray to him.
- It could also be that the addressee is now omnipotent and knows everything anyway.
Please keep all of this in mind when deciding whether or not to use our service.